Lessons from a dying grandfather

While watching my grandfather slowly die from lung cancer, it is becoming clear to me how important it is to recover a something is that we have lost: the sinfulness of sin. We so often treat deceit and selfishness as small things, when our Lord calls deceit one of the things He abhors (Prov 6: 17, 19). We treat lightly the grace of God, and love Him little, because we are so often blind to how much we have been forgiven. One way to put it is that while we have been forgiven of a debt of trillions of dollars, we instead think we have only been forgiven a debt of a couple hundred dollars.

May our hearts be broken before God so that we come in repentance to His throne of grace, where that amazing mercy flows in the blood of Christ, and our sins are washed away.

While my grandfather, who is an unbeliever, is alive, I take comfort in God's sovereignty, because I know that there is still time for my grandfather to repent and believe in Christ. God still sits on His throne and can open up his heart at any time. Yet I know that it could be that God will not do that because of a lifetime of rebellion against him that my grandfather has led. In either case, God is still just and good. While I certainly hope that my grandfather comes to know Christ, I know that God has a purpose in allowing him to die an unbeliever (which will greatly increase my grief), though I may not see it. God is good, that's enough for me.

I am daily reminded of the necessity of the Spirit in the work of conversion, as I try to sing songs of God's goodness (which may be a detriment, given I can't sing too well), and try to react to my grandfather in a godly manner. That his heart remains unchanged is evident in his behavior. When he first came to live my family, he was extremely nice, to the point that most of us were shocked (he even complimented my mother, which left me dumbfounded considering his usual attitude towards her was less than friendly), but after a couple months reverted to his usual bitter self.

This brings me to the second thing, which is especially needful for Christians, and that is how to die a holy death. As we go along that steady march towards death, we so often act like the world, who flee death, instead of the children of God that we are. Death is not the end of our joy, as it is for unbelievers, but is instead the end of our miseries, as we go to be with our Triune God and see Him face to face.

"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His godly ones," (Psalm 116:15 NASB) we are told, yet how often we flee from our dying loved one's side because we fear death, which has no power over us if we are in Christ. We as Christians, who suffer the hatred of the world for our message, should be able to stand by our loved ones as they die, for we know the One they will meet at their death. How can we, who died with Christ, be fearful of death, which means true and eternal union with the true lover of our souls? I think that in the West, it's because we've become too insulated by the creature comforts we've become accustomed to. Too often we unconsciously substitute eternal joy in God for fleeting, worldly pleasures.


It seems we have forgotten the advice of Solomon: "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart" (Ecc. 7:12 NASB). How often do we now hear "I don't know what to say to them," when we learn of someone's loss? Our fear of death has rendered us weak when it comes to comforting those who mourn, and so often that weakness causes our brothers and sisters to stumble. Grieving is a difficult process as it is, don't make it any harder by isolating your brother or sister in Christ because you don't know what to say. In truth, there are times when saying nothing is the best thing to do. Comforting those who mourn is sometimes just letting them know that they are not alone in their mourning, for you are there with them to help, and that the Lord of all things, Jesus Christ, is with them as well.

Let us find strength in Christ, who wept at Lazarus' tomb, even though He knew what would transpire there. Let us find in Him the love and wisdom to comfort our mourning brothers, sisters, and friends.